A contemporary definition of “networking” is to make an effort to meet and talk to a lot of people, especially in order to get information that can help you. — *location: 109* ^ref-12473 --- This is a key tactic: ask questions first. — *location: 219* ^ref-48479 --- These abilities—listening, observing, being curious—are wonderful tools for connecting with people. — *location: 231* ^ref-49220 --- Share a story. Each of you having a turn to tell the other one something about yourself creates a bond. It can be as basic as how you landed your job or why you live where you live. Reveal a bit of personality instead of simply reciting the bare bones. What you feel like revealing is a measure of whether your bond is growing. — *location: 323* ^ref-25233 --- Find common ground quickly. This can be the person who’s introduced you, the fact that you’re attending the same event, or are in the same field. It’s whatever common ground you have, however slight, that lets you begin the conversation. — *location: 320* ^ref-49632 --- Discover a future to-do. If in the course of your conversation you learn that you’re both taking an upcoming class, starting a blog, going to a reception or conference next month, or anything similar, you’ve found a kindred spirit. If the conversation leads to more formal contact or collaboration in the near future, even better. — *location: 327* ^ref-1974 --- Don’t limit your context. This is the biggest obstacle I see people impose on themselves: a very limited, and narrow, notion about who or what is going to be useful for their immediate need. Only the hiring manager or the principal will do, they think—not the adjacent people who may well have important perspectives, history, broader knowledge, or other good leads. Don’t talk yourself out of the help you need. This is why I’m careful with introductions. If someone asking for ideas and contacts politely rejects who I’m suggesting because they don’t see the logic, I’m not likely to offer again. — *location: 375* ^ref-55573 --- Make introductions correctly. When you have ideas for who should meet whom, write to your personal contact and ask if they mind an introduction. Here are the steps involved, and the variables you need to adjust for: • First, send a note to your contact explaining what the question or need is, and ask if they’re willing to talk with your contact. Explain how you know the person, why you are helping, and how you think your contact can help specifically. — *location: 396* ^ref-38749 --- Only when they say yes do you move ahead to introductions.With an okay in hand, write to both parties, briefly recapping the common ground or the query, and sign off. • Pro tip: move the connector to bcc: in email (or, if you’re the connector, remind the others to drop you off the rest of the exchange; I’m amazed at how often I’m still included as they sort out the logistics of scheduling). • Occasionally in this scenario my contact doesn’t follow up, and I will nudge them ever so gently—once—to see if they’ve forgotten to reply. Sometimes even that’s a dead end, but usually the nudgee is grateful for the reminder. • Also, never make a cold introduction with both parties included on that first message without an okay from the one you’re asking for a favor. I readily agree to most requests when my contact asks me first if it’s all right to proceed; I’m almost always irritated when the combo intro appears out of nowhere, with no context. Some people use the shorthand “double opt-in” for this process. — *location: 400* ^ref-19302 --- And when you’re on the hunt for real—when you are formally pursuing a job—you have to be more communicative than usual. When you’re actively seeking a specific job, company, or introduction, be sure to thank your contacts (regardless of what they did) along the way and inform them as your process unfolds. As she followed up with each referral I had given her, I was delighted to get a thank-you from a young woman I met during her job quest. Each one was a brief update (note: being communicative doesn’t mean being long-winded!) on the state of her search and how she enjoyed her meetings. She’s a great networker, and I’d happily help her again. — *location: 412* ^ref-9096 --- Another key to overcoming your fears about networking for a need is to practice a little bit every day—and do it when you don’t need specific help. I call this “keeping in loose touch”: you pop up now and again to your connections, and new acquaintances, too, without any formal obligation to follow up or see one another in person. — *location: 454* ^ref-18959 --- This is my guiding principle for an easier way to network: Nurture it before you need it. — *location: 459* ^ref-42935 --- I suggest your networking habit build around what you have to give to others. Twenty years ago, I didn’t set out to amass a lot of contacts or cash in on a bunch of favors. What I had was a strong desire for two things: one, make meaningful connections with people, because they helped me feel less alone in the world; and two, share those connections with others for the advice or answers they needed. — *location: 484* ^ref-10421 --- Ten minutes a day building your loose-touch habit can keep you in touch with an awful lot of people. — *location: 538* ^ref-47509 --- Make it a morning warmup. My morning ritual of checking email and my news feeds is a way to limber up for the workday. As I scan the headlines, I’ll share a story or two that I know are of interest to people I haven’t been in touch with along with a short note: “This made me think of you. What’s your take? And how are you?” — *location: 541* ^ref-8573 --- Keep a running to-do list. Part of staying in loose touch is simply following up on encounters you’ve had. After your conversation or meeting, think about what you wanted to pass along, and who came to mind that you’d like to reach out to. Add them to your list and get the satisfaction of crossing that task off later. — *location: 545* ^ref-26831 --- Close out the day with gratitude. Send out a couple of “thinking of you” notes to people you’ve enjoyed meeting or would like to catch up with, or to even start a new conversation with someone you’ve just met. It’s a nice way to plant the seed of connection that might yield a response as soon as the next day. — *location: 548* ^ref-6225 --- Business professor David Burkus’s book Friend of a Friend zeroes in on the idea that people you already know, especially those who are weak ties, are the ones best suited to help you. As he observes, ”When we have a career setback . . . we tend to only tell a close circle of friends who may or may not be able to help. . . . Instead, we ought to go to our weak and dormant ties, tell them our story, and see what opportunities they have. Even better, we ought to start a regular practice of re-engaging with our weak and dormant ties.” That’s what keeping in loose touch is about. — *location: 584* ^ref-6884 --- Instead, I rely on a boundary: I’ll send an email with a couple of paragraphs about my broad impressions, perhaps include a recent article that’s relevant, and sign off with “good luck,” which is genuine. — *location: 604* ^ref-48291 --- The notion of “weak ties”—people you know very slightly at best, perhaps worked with briefly or met through a friend—was developed by Stanford University sociologist Mark Granovetter. His much-cited 1973 research paper, “The Strength of Weak Ties,” advanced the idea that in certain fields, the connections between people that are less direct, less obvious, less robust, actually proved to be a better resource for finding a new job than were strong connections. One key finding is a fairly simple idea: “Those to whom we are weakly tied are more likely to move in circles different from our own and will thus have access to information different from that which we receive.” — *location: 637* ^ref-25485 --- When I asked her how to answer people who are cautious about exposing parts of their lives, Ann counseled, “. . . think of personalizing your brand, not getting personal. The former means showing that you’re a real human being. You have a point of view, real character, a personality. The latter is sharing details that are intimate or too specific to you to have relevance for the larger community.” — *location: 849* ^ref-39221 ---