Over and over again, we’ve seen how hard it is to make insecurity go away. Facts and logic don’t work. Insecure people often go to extraordinary lengths for some goal they hope will make them feel better—they’ll lose weight, get an advanced degree, work 24–7 to win a promotion. But every time, the sense of inadequacy returns; insecurity seems to have a life of its own. — *location: 1158* ^ref-35513 --- The “Shadow” is everything we don’t want to be but fear we are, represented in a single image. It’s called the Shadow because it follows us wherever we go. — *location: 1170* ^ref-44970 --- Watch little kids, particularly when they’re playing. They aren’t self-conscious or insecure. They express themselves freely and exuberantly. They almost never freeze. — *location: 1214* ^ref-4475 >Maybe I saw myself kr became self aware too soon. --- we have to hide anything about ourselves that others might not like. Amazingly, the hiding place becomes our own, inner self. We use it as a garbage bag, dumping everything that’s unacceptable about ourselves into it. The inner self is still there, but now it’s buried under our worst qualities. In the process, we’ve turned something that was beautiful—the inner self—into something we despise: the Shadow. — *location: 1232* ^ref-19528 --- It may seem like the worst part of us, but really, it’s the doorway to the inner self. Only when that doorway is open can we truly express ourselves. — *location: 1235* ^ref-27418 --- In my mind’s eye, I saw a figure approaching me. It felt real. It was a young, skinny version of myself—innocent, fearful, and deeply ashamed. It represented my worst fear; that I’d be seen as an inexperienced, faltering child when I wanted to be seen as an authoritative expert. — *location: 1254* ^ref-668 --- I had the strange sensation it was offering me help. I had no idea why, but I suddenly felt energized. Spontaneously, I stood up and walked eagerly toward the audience. They sensed this and quickly returned to their seats, probably wondering why I had this mad smile on what had been my stone face. Before I knew what I was doing, I threw away my notes, opened my mouth, and for the next two hours, I was seized by a force I’d never felt before. Speaking completely off the cuff, I gave an impassioned presentation of my ideas. Surprisingly, I never once thought about what I was going to say; it came spontaneously out of my mouth. Throughout the presentation, I felt the distinct presence of the Shadow. In fact, it felt like he and I were speaking as a unit. — *location: 1257* ^ref-18352 --- My intuition had always told me there was something valuable hidden inside the Shadow, but on that day I experienced it directly. It was when I completely lost hope of impressing the audience that the Shadow appeared—I no longer had to hide it. To my great shock, its appearance didn’t destroy the ability to express myself—it enhanced it. No longer concerned with what the audience thought of me, I expressed myself with an authority I’d never known before. — *location: 1264* ^ref-26120 --- If you use Inner Authority consistently, you create an ongoing relationship with the Shadow. Think of it as a partnership where each party is supplying something the other can’t. The Shadow brings the ability to express itself with passion—something you can’t do on your own. But you bring to the Shadow something it needs but can’t supply for itself: acknowledgment of its powers. You give this to the Shadow every time you choose to use the tool. — *location: 1439* ^ref-22305 --- If this partnership falls apart—or is never formed—you end up in an unbalanced state. On one hand, the Shadow takes over and overwhelms you with its tendencies toward inferiority, weakness, and depression. For obvious reasons, Phil called this a “takeover.” On the other hand, you banish the Shadow completely and live a superficial life, craving the approval of others and unable to express yourself deeply. It’s common to swing from one of these extremes to the other without ever putting the two pieces together. Tragically, most people think these are their only two choices. — *location: 1445* ^ref-60784 --- These qualities comprise a second Shadow, which we call the “evil Shadow.” The fact that you have an evil Shadow doesn’t mean you’re evil any more than having an inferior Shadow means you’re inferior. — *location: 1457* ^ref-21180 --- Inner Authority lets you overcome initial shyness, particularly around people you’re interested in romantically. — *location: 1478* ^ref-13070 --- Inner Authority lets you express need and vulnerability. — *location: 1489* ^ref-10144 --- Inner Authority allows you to connect to your loved ones with more emotion. — *location: 1499* ^ref-57974 --- Peace of mind eludes almost everyone in the modern world because we look for it in the wrong place. We think it will come from some external accomplishment—enough money to retire on, a vacation home, a loyal spouse. But even if we achieve these goals, the peace of mind they give us is short-lived. The reason is simple. In the material world, you’re always vulnerable; whatever you gain you can also lose. The stock market can crash, a flood can wash away your home, your spouse can leave you. For peace of mind to be lasting, therefore, it must come from someplace where you are always nurtured and supported. Lasting peace of mind can only come from a connection to the Source. — *location: 1778* ^ref-64355 --- Success is paralyzing for a simple reason. It makes you feel as if you did it all yourself. Ironically, the moment you claim all the credit for your success, you also have to take the blame for any future failure—and that’s terrifying. This makes you risk-averse, less creative, and afraid to move forward with new ideas and new projects. You rely on your past achievements, living a “safe,” uncreative life. — *location: 1806* ^ref-37554 --- Every one of us has a fantasy of a “magical something”—a relationship, job, achievement, or possession—that will remove us from the treadmill that is real life. — *location: 2040* ^ref-51548 --- Phil calls this fantasy of living an effort-free, undemanding life “exoneration.” Most people think of exoneration in terms of being cleared of a crime, but it has another meaning: to be excused from a task or obligation. Here, it refers to the ultimate obligation—to make an effort for the rest of your life. — *location: 2045* ^ref-18308 --- Exoneration is impossible—for an individual or for a society. When, inevitably, this false hope for “easy street” is shattered, we’re left demoralized. This is an inescapable law: exoneration always ends in demoralization. — *location: 2078* ^ref-62250 ---