After years of hustling, I finally went to a place I had never allowed my adult self to go to before: I admitted that I was lost. And that was the most liberating thought I’d ever had. — *location: 198* ^ref-39822 --- Inspired by the experimental mindset taught in scientific training, I asked myself: What experiment could I run on my own life that would bring me an intrinsic sense of fulfillment, whatever the outcome? — *location: 212* ^ref-39573 --- Systematic curiosity provides an unshakable certitude in your ability to grow even when the exact path forward is uncertain, with the knowledge that your actions can align with your most authentic ambitions. — *location: 242* ^ref-10834 --- when you lean into your curiosity, uncertainty can be a state of expanded possibility, a space for metamorphosis. It’s a way to turn challenges into triggers for self-discovery and doubt into a source of opportunity. Get ready for an exciting new era: your experimental life. — *location: 251* ^ref-18361 --- This common shift from boundless curiosity to narrow determination is at the heart of why the traditional approach to goals keeps on letting us down; it impedes our creativity and prevents us from seeing and seizing new opportunities. — *location: 300* ^ref-51769 --- All these approaches to goal setting are based on linear goals: they were created for controlled environments that lend to readily measurable outcomes with predictable timelines. — *location: 311* ^ref-1292 --- As journalist Amil Niazi put it: “No goals, just vibes.” — *location: 317* ^ref-38317 --- Notice the vocabulary we use. Goals drive us forward, we set out to achieve our goals, we make progress toward a goal. Those are called orientational metaphors—figurative expressions that involve spatial relationships. Setting a linear goal entails defining a target state in the future and mapping out the steps to get there. Success is defined as arriving at the target. — *location: 321* ^ref-51626 --- Because they conflate ambition with the single-minded pursuit of an end destination, traditional methods of pursuing goals have an effect counter to their intent: they create a discouraging perspective where we are far from success. Our satisfaction—the best version of ourselves—lies somewhere in the future. — *location: 324* ^ref-32896 --- Researchers who explored our relationship to idleness found that “many purported goals that people pursue may be merely justifications to keep themselves busy.” — *location: 333* ^ref-386 --- modern life has created a giant public leaderboard that amplifies the artificial need to compete. — *location: 346* ^ref-23522 --- This phenomenon is called the Red Queen effect. In Through the Looking-Glass, Alice says to the Queen: “In our country, you’d generally get to somewhere else—if you ran very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.” To which the Queen replies: “A slow sort of country! Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!” — *location: 349* ^ref-10321 --- French philosopher René Girard called this phenomenon mimetic desire: we desire something because we see others desiring it. In other words, our goals mimic the goals of others. — *location: 356* ^ref-17067 --- When thinking about your life, pretend you want to craft a captivating story. Instead of a Greek tragedy with strict creative conventions, imagine that you want to write the beginning of an unputdownable tale, the kind that breaks free from well-trodden narratives. — *location: 476* ^ref-17558 --- When we fixate on finding one singular purpose, we rule out the side quests that help us grow the most. Your life doesn’t need to follow predictable acts and arcs. The best stories are full of surprises, with colorful characters and unexpected plot twists. To avoid recycling old stories, we need to break free from the scripts we write for ourselves. — *location: 479* ^ref-14652 --- Alvin Toffler, the futurist who coined the term information overload in the 1970s, wrote that the illiterate of our times will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. — *location: 563* ^ref-10113 --- As you consider your next experiment, three questions can help you avoid the trap of the Sequel, the Crowdpleaser, and the Epic and reclaim your cognitive freedom: Are you following your past or discovering your path? Are you following the crowd or discovering your tribe? Are you following your passion or discovering your curiosity? — *location: 570* ^ref-56638 --- Like a scientist, you can now use your observations to formulate a hypothesis. It all starts with a research question. For example, if you observe that you’re feeling energized when discussing certain topics, you might ask yourself: How can I incorporate more of this into my daily life? Then turn this question into a hypothesis. Don’t overthink it. Formulating a hypothesis is an intuitive process based on your past experiences and present inclinations. It should simply be an idea you want to put to the test—an inkling of an answer to your research question. — *location: 626* ^ref-42592 --- Rather than an attempt to reach a fixed destination, testing a hypothesis is an opportunity for growth. You are simply exploring your potential, driven by genuine curiosity, asking yourself: What might I find on that path? Once you have a hypothesis, you can design an experiment and turn your life into a giant laboratory for self-discovery. — *location: 654* ^ref-56606 --- We have very little control over how we feel, which is why it’s hard to force ourselves to feel motivated. A pact solves this challenge by emphasizing doing over planning. As psychologist and philosopher William James explained: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” — *location: 708* ^ref-42277 --- Just like the protocol of a scientific experiment, a pact is based on instructions that are clear and contained. That’s why “I will learn how to code” is a flawed pact, but “I will code every day for a hundred days” is a great one. — *location: 712* ^ref-5664 --- A pact is a simple and repeatable activity that will inevitably bring you closer to achieving your authentic ambitions, regardless of the actual result of each trial. It follows a simple format: I will [action] for [duration]. — *location: 684* ^ref-24460 --- A pact is not a habit. A habit has an unbounded time commitment (e.g., exercise every day) driven by the desire to achieve a specific result (e.g., a positive health outcome). — *location: 762* ^ref-29835 --- For example, I started journaling as part of a two-week pact to explore mindfulness practices. Experimenting helped me find the perfect method and time of the day, and I have now been journaling every day for over three years. — *location: 769* ^ref-2762 --- In essence, a pact is a mini protocol for a personal experiment. It tells you what to do and how many times you will conduct the test. — *location: 794* ^ref-27277 --- Writer Tasshin Fogleman makes the distinction between cold curiosity, which is functional and calculating, and burning curiosity, which is feverish and irrational. Your pact should sit in the in-between: warm curiosity, the kind that both pragmatically aligns with your existing interests and fiercely drives you to explore new ones. — *location: 828* ^ref-59145 --- Many new possibilities will open when you switch from a linear mindset to an experimental mindset and focus on showing up rather than perfecting everything. Whether it’s committing to coding every day like Kallaway, publishing one video per week like Abdaal, making twenty paintings like Delgay, or practicing making one full-course dinner for friends every weekend like Loredo, you now have access to the power of experiments rooted in your own curiosity. — *location: 869* ^ref-7670 --- Growing up with role models who highly value productivity—praising grades over effort, obsessing over learning new skills, packing the greatest number of activities into a weekend—can sublimate this outlook as you start attaching a lot of value to productivity yourself. Seeking the approval of parents or professors can turn into seeking the approval of peers through overscheduling, workaholism, and busy bragging—or regularly boasting about one’s busyness. — *location: 904* ^ref-51073 --- Kairos moments, like pêche à pied, are what I call magic windows: those periods of creative flow that often occur when we are immersed in activities that capture our full attention, when we spend time with loved ones, or when we are engaged in self-reflection. — *location: 976* ^ref-40691 --- To live in Kairos time, we need to shift the focus from what we do with our time to how we experience each moment—what you might call mindful productivity. It’s a simple idea, that making the most of our time isn’t about doing more but about being more: more present, more engaged, and more attuned to the quality of our experiences. — *location: 992* ^ref-51284 --- Time is the most critical resource in traditional productivity. On the other hand, mindful productivity is centered around managing your physical, cognitive, and emotional resources—the ingredients that give rise to Kairos moments. — *location: 999* ^ref-62735 --- Whether due to sleep habits, hormonal fluctuations, or seasonal changes, everyone has unique cycles of productivity highs and lows throughout the day, the week, and the year. Researchers found that there may be longer biological rhythms at play, which they call circannual cycles, suggesting that seasons have a complex effect on how the brain works. — *location: 1021* ^ref-31650 --- The naturalist Henry David Thoreau, though he recommended that we keep taking nature walks throughout the year, led a more inward life during the winter months. He wrote in his journal: “Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.” — *location: 1028* ^ref-61880 --- Energy naturally fluctuates; attempting to maintain a perpetual peak is not just impossible but detrimental to your well-being. Respecting your natural rhythms can lead you to have a healthier relationship to work as well as increased productivity and creativity. — *location: 1050* ^ref-33414 --- sequential focus leans into the ebb and flow of your cognitive capacity, prompting you to evaluate constantly: Given my current attention and working memory, what is the most sensible task to undertake right now? — *location: 1070* ^ref-62358 --- Noticing your emotions and regulating your nervous system will help you develop what Susan David calls emotional agility, the ability to fluidly adapt and respond to your emotional experiences. — *location: 1105* ^ref-55387 --- To manage your physical resources, use energy syncing to align your most demanding tasks with your daily energy peaks and block a weekly magic window for strategic work. For your cognitive resources, apply sequential focus to tackle one major task at a time, considering how your environment impacts your attention and off-loading worries to your notes so you can free up some working memory. For your emotional resources, practice conscious movement whenever you notice any signals of distress. — *location: 1115* ^ref-40200 --- Kairos rituals are as idiosyncratic as the people who practice them. As you develop your own, think about a simple action that can quickly shift your mood, such as music or scent; reconnect you to your body, such as stretching or conscious breathing; or give you the chance to check in with yourself, such as making a handwritten list of your intentions for the rest of your workday. — *location: 1155* ^ref-14891 --- procrastination turned out to be a helpful friend. When I treated resistance as evidence, it helped me to understand why it was so hard to write this chapter in the first place. — *location: 1251* ^ref-13536 >Strategic procrastination --- If you choose to ask these questions in a nonjudgmental way and interpret the answer constructively, procrastination can be a helpful indicator, shifting your internal monologue from self-blame to self-discovery. — *location: 1260* ^ref-7961 --- The unresolved conflict between expectations and actions—between an idealized vision of yourself and the current reality of your behavior—leads to emotional distress and decreased self-esteem. When we procrastinate, we remain stuck at that first-order level of analysis: we should be doing something, but we’re not. We chalk up this contradictory behavior to a fatal defect in our character. In contrast to this sterile self-judgment, we might instead ask ourselves a potentially fertile question: Why are you procrastinating? — *location: 1269* ^ref-59609 --- If the problem runs deeper, you may need a more introspective approach. Set a timer for ten minutes and free-write about the task. Let your feelings flow without judgment or editing. Then review what you’ve written for patterns. — *location: 1332* ^ref-22819 --- For feelings that elicit stronger resistance, you can use what behavioral scientists call a pairing method to help you get started. If the task is sound but feels dreary, pair it with an enjoyable activity. You can catch up on overdue emails from your favorite coffee shop, do your taxes while listening to your favorite band, or turn the task into a game by creating rewards for each completed chunk. — *location: 1344* ^ref-28021 --- Is the task appropriate, exciting, and doable? When the answer to all three questions is yes, then your head, your heart, and your hand are in harmony. I like to call this harmonious state aligned aliveness. Not only is it easy to get started, but it is also much easier to keep going. — *location: 1370* ^ref-13797 --- Trosky calls this way of investing strategic mediocrity. His thesis is that it is possible to be excellent over the long term by not investing in the highest-performing bonds over the short term. Rejecting the societal obsession with constant perfection, he argues that all-or-nothing, perfectionist approaches are often not the most successful. — *location: 1488* ^ref-9824 --- Identify perfectionist patterns. Before you can start embracing imperfection, you need to become aware of when and how you are unrealistically striving for perfection. If you feel stretched, write down your current commitments—all of them—and describe what success would look like for each. — *location: 1533* ^ref-64009 --- Challenge your unrealistic targets. Looking at the list of highly ambitious objectives you have committed to is usually enough to convince you that you cannot possibly accomplish them all at once. But you can dig a bit deeper if you need more proof. How much effort would it require to complete each of these projects to your standards? Do you really have enough hours in the day to do everything on this list? — *location: 1535* ^ref-35485 --- Choose progress over perfection. This is where the intentional part comes into play. Decide on the parts of your life and work where you will drop the ball to achieve excellence in other areas. — *location: 1540* ^ref-29723 --- “An error in an artwork creates a feeling that something is possible; it is an open window to something we do not control,” as Cedric van Eenoo beautifully puts it. “This space where the unknown becomes reachable is precious: we are to be surprised and astonished by the poetry of the unexpected.” — *location: 1551* ^ref-40374 --- We don’t go in circles; we grow in circles. — *location: 1588* ^ref-56302 --- In many cultures, the wheel is a symbol of growth and success. It combines the idea of progress and wholeness: It is complete, and yet it keeps on moving. It represents the perpetual change and transitory nature of life. The cyclic ages of Hindu cosmology, the wheel of life in Buddhism…The dynamic dance of the Chinese yin and yang also recognizes cycles of life that encompass opposites, the dual craving we have for discovery and comfort, and the desire to find balance in accommodating both phases into our lives. In Greek mythology, the phoenix cyclically regenerates so that every ending is a new beginning. — *location: 1589* ^ref-57721 --- In essence, metacognition is curiosity directed at your inner world—your thoughts, your emotions, your beliefs. It empowers you to be the master of your mind, providing you with the tools to shape these inner experiences in a way that brings you closer to your aspirations. — *location: 1624* ^ref-45512 --- Fundamentally, Plus Minus Next is a tool for making good mistakes. While the pact allows us to commit to action, Plus Minus Next allows us to evaluate our actions. It helps us celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our mistakes. Only through combined action and reflection can we achieve meaningful growth: trial and error create a feedback loop of guaranteed learning—a successful cycle of experimentation. — *location: 1773* ^ref-43108 >Three columns: positives, negatives, what to do next period. Use daily, monthly, or yearly --- As serial entrepreneur Seth Godin puts it: “Quitting the projects that don’t go anywhere is essential if you want to stick out the right ones.” Every moment you invest in a direction that no longer resonates is a moment you could have invested elsewhere, in a commitment that could offer you more fulfillment. — *location: 1854* ^ref-42471 --- Refocusing on the hypothesis underlying your current experiment can be helpful. Do you feel like you have enough data to answer your research question? If you’re still curious to know the answer and some changes are required to complete your pact, then it is worth considering a pivot. Remember that the primary goal is to learn, grow, and discover more about yourself and the world. — *location: 1896* ^ref-24757 --- “Active acceptance means acknowledging a negative, difficult situation and dealing with it in a constructive way,” explain Yuka Maya Nakamura and Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern, Switzerland. “Resigning acceptance also means abandoning outward directed actions; however, this behavior is combined with negative expectations about the future and a loss of hope.” — *location: 2009* ^ref-38781 --- As Vivian Greene puts it: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — *location: 2020* ^ref-5623 --- For this, let’s use a technique psychologists call affective labeling, which helps you better manage your physiological responses by naming your emotional states. Research has found that labeling our emotions results in higher brain activity in our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain in charge of executive functioning, which, as we discussed in chapter 4, includes managing tasks, making decisions, and focusing attention. It also reduces activity in the amygdala, a region that plays an important role in emotional processing and the fight-or-flight response. — *location: 2040* ^ref-32105 --- Psychologists call this transactive memory, a system where individuals develop an understanding of who knows what, enabling them to leverage the group’s knowledge and make progress more effectively. — *location: 2164* ^ref-32927 --- The spirit of learning in public applies not just to mathematics. When you become the scientist of your own life, sharing your experiments along the way provides fuel for your personal growth, leading to fresh discoveries and improving your rate of success. — *location: 2339* ^ref-28209 --- If, like me, there is an experiment you’ve tried a few times without success but believe could positively impact your life were you to complete it, here is how to use the three Public Pillars—public pledge, public platform, public practice—to share your learning journey. — *location: 2397* ^ref-23646 --- Ultimately, the key is to practice authenticity with boundaries, or what architects call an intimacy gradient between your emergent interests and your established reputation. — *location: 2602* ^ref-8997 --- As Anaïs Nin said, there will be a day when the risk to remain tight in a bud will feel more painful than the risk it takes to blossom. Then, despite any fears, you will know learning in public is worth it when you experience your first beautiful moment of connection that came from something you shared. — *location: 2629* ^ref-54242 --- To be successful at any age, on any path, and on your own terms, focus not on legacy but on generativity. Generativity is a psychological principle that emphasizes using your personal growth to positively impact the world around you. The term was coined by psychoanalyst Erik Erikson in the 1950s, who defined it as the “ability to transcend personal interests to provide care and concern for younger and older generations.” — *location: 2684* ^ref-28458 --- Designer Jack Butcher calls this a “permissionless apprenticeship,” Seth Godin talks of the practice of “shipping” work, Cal Newport refers to the “craftsman mindset”—whatever you decide to call it, don’t wait for approval; do the work first. — *location: 2731* ^ref-53512 --- many innovative thinkers and doers have woven together nonlinear careers by consistently closing the loop on each experiment and sharing their hard-won insights. — *location: 2795* ^ref-47650 --- When you consistently finish what you start and reflect on the lessons learned, even if the outcome wasn’t what you expected, people see you as someone who takes initiative, follows through, and gleans insights from every experience. — *location: 2798* ^ref-22458 --- Framing experiments as “just for fun” alleviates the pressure of meeting certain expectations, both self-imposed and from others, which can lead to creating value in unexpected ways. — *location: 2832* ^ref-36436 --- The following principles are a distillation of the most important ideas in this book so you can consult them whenever you need a refresher. Think of it as an experimentalist manifesto: an exhortation to live a life of systematic curiosity, where uncertainty is a feature and not a bug, where inner resistance is a welcome source of information, and where the generative now matters more than your legacy. **Forget the finish line.** In our quest for personal and professional growth, we often constrain ourselves within the narrow pathways of linear goals. Instead of chasing the next milestone, embrace the liminal and open yourself to a world of possibilities beyond the outcomes you can imagine today. **Unlearn your scripts.** Since childhood, internalized patterns form cognitive scripts that subtly guide our actions in relationships, work, and education. By unlearning these scripts, you can explore life’s full spectrum of experiences, consider unobvious paths, and nurture your ever-changing curiosity rather than seeking one all-absorbing passion. **Turn doubts into experiments**. Confidence is built through action. When in doubt, run a personal experiment using a pact—a time-bound commitment to a repeatable action that follows this format: I will [action] for [duration]. You are now the scientist of your own life, with a mindset of openness and curiosity, allowing you to learn from each iteration even if you don’t know the destination. **Let go of the chronometer.** Shift your focus from Chronos, the quantitative definition of time, to Kairos, which emphasizes the unique quality of each moment. Manage your energy, executive function, and emotions rather than your minutes. Optimize for the depth of experience rather than the speed of achievement. Remember that life is not about how much we do, but how well we do. **Make friends with procrastination.** Procrastination is not an enemy to be conquered, but a meaningful signal that something is amiss—a mismatch between your rational aspirations (head), your emotional needs (heart), and your practical skills (hand). Approach procrastination from a place of curiosity to identify its cause and adjust your course of action. **Embrace imperfection.** You cannot excel at everything simultaneously. Long-term excellence comes not from maintaining perfect balance but from prioritizing what is most important at any given moment. Identify perfectionist patterns, challenge unrealistic targets, and aim for intentional imperfection. This is not a permanent compromise, but rather the chance to choose carefully which areas of your life or work you will temporarily allow to be less than perfect so that you can excel in others. **Design growth loops.** If you want to grow, action is nothing without reflection. Master metacognition, the practice of reflecting on your thinking, so that you become not only aware of your thoughts and emotions but skilled at regulating them. By leveraging this mental awareness, you will live more intentionally, make smarter decisions, and evolve beyond automatic responses to the challenges you face. **Broaden the decision frame.** There is more to success than scaling up. You have three choices: persist with your current path if it’s rewarding, pause if it’s proving unfulfilling, or pivot to better suit your evolving circumstances. Every crossroads offers a chance to learn and grow; spend time exploring all internal and external factors before choosing your path forward. **Dance with disruption.** When life’s song abruptly changes, relax and listen. Stay nimble. Explore your subjective experience with curiosity before confronting the objective consequences of the disruption. Then chaos can become a source of transformation. **Seek fellow explorers.** The world is not just changing; it’s becoming increasingly complex. Leverage the power of social flow by being an active participant in communities. Cultivate your existing relationships with intention. Share your skills and knowledge to foster collective curiosity. Connecting with others will not only expand your horizons and amplify your impact, but also provide a safety net, making you more resilient to change. **Learn in public.** Resist the urge to work behind closed doors. Instead, learn in public—sharing not just your achievements, but also your false starts and mistakes. Put in the reps. Practice radical transparency so your growth aligns with your true aspirations. Celebrate the process as much as the success that follows. **Let go of your legacy.** Instead of working hard toward a beautiful eulogy, focus on the generative present. Navigate life’s winding paths with a sense of adventure: follow your curiosity and invest your energy not in what will be remembered about you, but in the tangible impact you can have right now. — *location: 2877* ^ref-13792 --- In the liminal space called life, we are in perpetual transition from one identity to another, from one question to the next, a succession of twists and turns, each an opportunity to learn about the world and connect with others. Success is the lifelong experiment of discovering what makes you feel most alive. — *location: 2923* ^ref-46075 ---